Learning how to handle my emotions in undesirable situations is a key factor to my happiness. Even though I’ve come a long way from the once defensive girl who always let her emotions get the best of her, sometimes I still struggle to get a grip.

A few days ago, after much deliberation I decided to get off my comfortable bed to run an errand. Following a quick change of clothes, I jumped into my car and pulled off the driveway. I stopped at an intersection at the end of my street and waited for a chance to turn onto the major. When I finally got the chance, I quickly turned onto the major and sped up to avoid holding back the incoming line of traffic behind me. Before I could pump my brake to slow down, that’s when it happened—the police spot me from 400 meters away and pulled me over for driving 10km/h over the speed limit.

I was in total shock for several reasons: It was the first time I got pulled over, I was a minute away from home, and it was very unusual for the police to be present in such a rural area with a speed gun. Also, the speed I was driving at (60km/h) was the average speed of almost every vehicle on that particular stretch of road—even the police drove at that speed.

I suppose it was warranted, but the officer seemed to think it was quite amusing to give me a speeding ticket costing $1000 TT (i.e. $150 US) for driving 10km/h over the “speed limit”. I got so incredibly upset; I immediately turned around and drove back home. In the space of 5 minutes, I left home in a great mood and came back in the verge of tears. I was extremely bothered by it and regretted leaving home—my emotions were clearly getting the best of me. All I wanted was to forget about it and feel normal again. I really needed a ‘woosah’ moment. Here’s what I did to overcome my emotions (after venting to Andy):

  • I accepted what happened—I got a (very expensive) speeding ticket. No matter how upset I got, it was not going to change what had already happened. The only variable in the situation was my reaction and that’s what I needed to change. 
  • Instead of regretting the situation and thinking of ways in which it could’ve been avoided, I stopped overthinking it and engaged in other things to occupy my mind. 
  • Instead of considering it bad luck, I considered myself lucky. The situation could’ve been a lot worse. Maybe I could’ve gotten into a head on collision while going onto the major and perhaps not even making it back home.  
  • Instead of feeling like a victim to a harsh officer and thinking, “Why did this happen to me?” I thought, “What is this trying to teach me?” I believe it happened for a reason and was a learning experience.

Now, aside from having to actually pay the ticket, I feel as though it never happened. Has your emotions ever gotten the best of you? How did you get over it?


Smile! Life is better when you’re laughing!

 

20 Replies to “A Real Woosah Moment”

  1. My emotions are in a constant state of overload, and I like you have had to learn to manage them over time. I like the “What is this trying to teach me?” mentality. That definitely changes the perspective immediately (after I have vented of course).

  2. Candace, if you haven’t paid the ticket yet, you can go to court. Most traffic officers don’t show up to court for the tickets they have written. If they don’t show up, your ticket is dismissed.

  3. It was quite an unpleasant situation, I would’ve dealt with it quite differently, lol. But it was great seeing you handle that anger and frustration so smoothly, you have definitely come a long way babe, kudos and great post.

  4. After venting to Andy, made me laugh because that’s exactly what i do. I vent out to my husband immediately! Here’s something else i started doing recently to overcome emotional overload and overthinking on bad days.I write it down on a paper, and that itself feels like dumping the load off from my head. I then write down, why it happened, what could I have done it to avoid it, or make it easier, and if it’s something that isn’t in my control, how I should accept it and come to terms with it. This has worked wonders on me and kept my overthinking mind and confusion much in control.

    1. Hahaha… isn’t that what they’re there for–to listen to us vent?
      That’s a great practice. Journaling normally helps with resolving most issues and emotions so I’m sure it’ll work for these situations as well. I will make sure to try that in the future.
      Thanks for sharing J 😀

  5. Good advice.
    I had a similar experience with a radar cop where I’ve NEVER seen one at the bottom of a hill. I basically coast to that spot and up the next incline because it’s fuel efficient and there is little traffic (two lane dirt road.)
    I slammed on my brakes and by some good fortune, the cop stopped the person behind me.

    My emotional response was gratitude and I’ve been more careful in that stretch even though I’ve not seen the sheriff there again.

    1. Wow, you were lucky. That’s great.
      Same here, now I approach that road with so much caution even though I’ve never seen the officers there since. Maybe we needed to slow down.
      Thanks for sharing your story 🙂

  6. My compliments that you chose to respond instead of react. You are in control of your attitude and while you have a ticket you are not dwelling on it to the ruin of what can be happy moments.

  7. Awww I totally know where you’re coming from hun. I am not proud of it, but I’ve been pulled over a few times myself over the years and it’s usually always because the cop is hiding and I zip past them and slow down when it’s too late. You handled yourself well. It could have certainly been much worse and it wasn’t. The cop may have had a quota of some sort to fulfil (I’ve heard of this happening) and perhaps that may have been a reason for giving you a ticket for going only 10 over. But chalk it down to a lesson learned, like you said. Everything happens for a reason. In fact, now that i think about it, my last ticket was given the same way, as I was turning a corner, a cop just came out of nowhere. It just happened so fast. Just internalize, learn from it, and move forward. 🙂

    1. Oh men, I guess it happens to the best of us 😛 Hahaha
      It definitely was a lesson learned, although lately I’ve gotten a bit paranoid about turning a corner and seeing one pointing a speed gun at me. I think I’ve become toooo cautious.
      Thanks for sharing your story and words of wisdom hun 🙂

  8. Candice, i’m sorry you got that ticket, lol, forgive me for seeing the comedy in this situation. But, i’m sure you don’t need to be reminded of how ridiculous our police here in Trinidad can be (plus its an easy way to raise the revenue of the country, ticket unsuspecting drivers at the most weirdest of places, sigh… I won’t go there…smh).

    To respond to the topic, yes emotions are a very tricky bunch indeed (“Even though I’ve come a long way from the once defensive girl who always let her emotions get the best of her, sometimes I still struggle to get a grip”) I think most if not all of us humans can relate to your preceding words Candice. I think mastering our emotions are life time activities, but once that discipline is achieved I think it will bring forth a degree of bliss that will definitely be ecstatic in most if not all faculties of our lives. Its an ongoing process for me, my younger days teens and early twenties (i’ll be 33 God’s willing this year) I would at times allow my emotions to cause me to say things that I did not mean and resulted in unnecessary anger, hurt and everything else that comes with it. Looking back on it I think we mature emotionally as we grow (not all of us however, even the police in Trinidad to (kidding), lol) which in turn should result in more sound decision making hopefully.

    Very nice read Candice, and a very important reminder, much thanks, blessings onto you always.

    1. Motee, what you said in your first paragraph were the exact thoughts that ran through my mind when I got the ticket. the thought of that being the case is what really got me upset.

      You’re right, emotions are tricky and getting worked up is simply being human. Like you said, what matters is that we mature emotionally. Thanks for sharing such a valuable insight.
      Have a great one 🙂

  9. First of all, your initial reaction to this situation says a lot about you as a person. You had never been pulled over before and you were in shock. You felt genuinely bad, and you obsessed over it. To me, that just shows that you are a really great person, and you don’t mean to cause any trouble. Most people would have thought, “I got a ticket. That sucks. Oh well.” And that would have been the end of it.

    The things that went through your mind are very familiar to me. About 3 weeks after I moved to Florida, I woke up one morning and had a feeling I should stay home. I forced myself to get up and go do what I had to do that day. A few hours later, I was involved in a really bad car accident. My car was totaled, and I ended up being sued by a passenger in the other vehicle. It was a nightmare that lasted for over a year and a half. That situation cost me A LOT of money, and has caused more anxiety and stress than I care to mention. I still haven’t fully recovered from it. I have wondered since that day what my life would be like right now if I had just stayed home that day. I believe everything happens for a reason though. As many problems as that situation has caused for me, I know there was a reason it happened.

    As you said, something much worse could have happened to you. A ticket (as expensive as it is) isn’t the end of the world. Thankfully, you’re safe. That’s the most important thing. Hopefully you can put this situation behind you quickly and move on from it.

    1. Thanks Danny.

      Oh men, that is one hell of a situation. That feeling is your intuition, it’s the same feeling I had. I actually wrote a post about that today.

      I’m sure what happened was though, there’s nothing easy about such a situation. I too believe things happen for a reason. I got into a car accident a few yrs ago and I believe it led me to this wonderful place I am today.

      I hope you recover fully soon from it.
      Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

  10. Awww poor you! It’s good that you got some perspective and spoke to your partner about the situation. I think having that special someone to talk to helps a lot.

    I have let my emotions got the better of me before and have executed on them pretty badly. I realised that letting these emotions marinate made things worse for me. Now I speak to my partner or some other close friend about anything that drives me away from my normal self.

    1. I really can’t stand when things are bothering me. I need to get it out. I’m so thankful that I have him, siblings and close friends to turn to in such times. Letting it out really helps and I make sure to be the same for them when they need a release.

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