Last weekend I lost a friend, a dear friend whom I’d known for over 18 years. Since then, I haven’t been able to clear my mind and focus to write because I’m still in shock. As such, my post today is a personal message—something I would’ve written in my journal to clear my mind, but instead decided to take a risk and write it here with hope that it reaches someone who might need it.

Here goes nothing… 

We all go through sh*t.  That’s life. It does not matter who we are, where we’re from, what we look like, or how much money we have in our pockets; we all have something in common—a life that is filled with ups and downs. Everyone we know, everyone we see on TV, everyone we see on social media, everyone we work with, everyone we meet for the first time, everyone we pass on the street, everyone with a smile on their face—EVERYONE is currently fighting a battle we know absolutely nothing about.

Let us not be swayed to think we are the only one who is having a hard time and believe that everyone around us is living trouble-free and has life all figured out. That is beyond far from the truth. We must never judge a person’s life by what meets the eye. What we see on the outside in hardly ever what really goes on inside. There is always someone with more insecurities, more burdens, or more difficulties than us—heck, it might even be the very same person who we think has their sh*t together, who makes us feel depressed about our life.

With the rampage of social media, when we see someone excelling in their career, travelling the world, in a happy relationship, has fancy things or living a luxurious life, we tend to compare lives and feel depressed by what is depicted; but we have no idea what sacrifices it took or is taking them to be where they are. We have no idea what is going on behind the scenes. Let us not allow our perception of other people’s life to make us feel bad about our own. We all have different destinies and different journeys to get there. Let us not compare someone else’s middle to our beginnings. Let us not think we are alone and are being left behind. If we look past the egos and facades, we will see that we are not the only one; everyone is fighting a battle.

Life is not linear. It never was and never will be. Life is a roller-coaster ride. Sometimes we will win and sometimes we will lose. Sometimes we will hurt and sometimes we will rejoice. Life is not meant to be easy—if it was then we’d all have not a single care in the world. We have to ride the waves and despite what we see and choose to believe, the truth is, we all have problems to some degree; the only thing that sets up apart, and what truly matters is our attitude towards those problems.

If only…

11 Replies to “Here Goes Nothing… ”

  1. This post is beautiful and very timely. Sometimes it does look like everyone around us is progressing but indeed, we have no idea of what they are battling with. In other words, be content with what you have while you push forward. Thanks for sharing.

  2. This is such a deep post babe, helps to reconnect with the reality of our existence. Thanks for sharing loves!

  3. Sorry for your loss. You’re descriptions are on point and I’m sure everyone can relate. I was with a good friend a week ago Sunday when she got a call from someone who I didn’t know but was in a dark place. This week, she found out he died. I know it shook her and it’s a reminder you never know when your last conversation with someone will be the last one ever.

  4. I was sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It hasn’t been that long that I went through exactly what you’re talking about here. I hope you will remember all the good times, the smiles you traded and secrets you shared as well as the triumphs. Every great friendship is worth the heartbreak of loss. Wishing you peace to your soul.

  5. Candace, I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing someone close to you is never easy, and it can be a really confusing time. I would never claim to know exactly how you feel right now, but I can relate to some of the things you might be feeling/experiencing right now, because I have gone through similar losses in my life. Everyone grieves in different ways. Take all the time you need and find the way that works best for you to get through this difficult time.

    You’re absolutely right, no one ever really knows what the people around us are going through. It is easy for people to only show the world the things they want to be shown. I do it, and I’m sure it’s something that everyone does. Every word of your post is spot on. Nobody goes through life flawlessly. We all have ups and downs, and we all experience this journey through life differently. Things constantly change. Nothing stays the same forever. I always used to think that people reached a certain age, and suddenly life made sense. The older I get, the more I am understanding that nobody ever truly figures out everything in life. A lot of times, decisions made are just a guess, and we have to hope we’re guessing correctly when we take chances.

    “We have to ride the waves and despite what we see and choose to believe, the truth is, we all have problems to some degree; the only thing that sets us apart, and what truly matters is our attitude towards those problems.” This is perfectly stated. The right attitude absolutely makes the biggest different. If you look at any situation positively, you will find a way to get through it and move on. Unfortunately, some people fail to see any positivity in bad situations. If only they could learn to see things from a different perspective, things could turn out differently (more positively) for them.

    Always keep the wonderful memories you shared with your friend fresh in your memory. I can tell you from personal experience that being able to look back at those positive memories will help to put a smile on your face in times of sadness down the road. I still do that all the time when I start thinking about how much I miss my mom and wish she were still here.

    My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. It took a lot of courage to share this with the world, but I guarantee reading this post will help others as they grieve the loss of a loved one.

  6. Hi hun, first off, I am so sorry about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. And great message – life is truly not linear – not by a long shot. Everyone is going through something at any given, no matter how hard they try to make it seem like they aren’t. Kindness is all you can give so that the same positivity can be bestowed upon you. And as you said, your attitude about problems makes all the difference. I recently saw a saying about this that was quite profound: “The problem is not the problem, but your perception of the problem”.

    Hang in there hun and lots of love. xoxo

Leave a Comment

%d bloggers like this: