Someone recently said to me, “The main reason for my unhappiness is because everyone around me is doing so much with their lives and I’m just stuck where I am.”

Many people bring this “unhappiness” on themselves by comparing their life to others’. They see people around them getting married, having kids, buying new houses, taking vacations, driving fancy cars or getting new promotions, and they compare it to their life.

Comparing your life to someone else’s based on what you see from the outside is bound to make you feel unfulfilled and unhappy about your own life. Especially with the advent of social media where people portray ‘virtual lives’ that don’t even exist in the real world. Here’s what you should know about comparing your life to others’:

  1. People may look happy on the outside, but you have no idea what struggles they might be dealing with on the inside. 
  2. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. 
  3. Don’t compare someone else’s middle to your beginning. 
  4. You have your own unique life story to write. There is no blueprint to how life “should” be lived. 
  5. There will always be someone with more than you; similarly you will always have more than someone. 
  6. Someone else will trade lives with you in a heartbeat, so be grateful for the one you got. 
  7. When you consistently compare your life to others, it diminishes your own.
  8. Everyone was dealt a different hand in life; so instead of comparing, make the most out of the cards you were dealt, stay in your lane, and work towards making you and your life, the best possible.

Comment below and share your thoughts.

 

 


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28 Replies to “Is Comparing Your Life to Others’ Making You Unhappy?”

  1. Truer words have never been said on this topic.

    I’ve had some friends come up to me with their “of only” lamentations. If only we had this… if only I could do this… At times it can get frustrating just listening to them. There’s a level of nonsense one can take and I remember I reached mine in February 2017. I just told them to get up and do something worthwhile with what they’ve got and stop daydreaming about what they haven’t got.

    Life’s like a business deal. All around us are resources to be used and potential investors looking to invest in us. We’ve gotta take what we have and used it to become the best at what we enjoy. That’s one way to be happy. And you become the best at being you, there’ll definitely be someone willing to invest in showcasing “you” on a much larger scale.

    1. Amen Jainey. Very well said. I hope my readers check the comment section to read this as well.

      I too listen to people complain about what they don’t have, instead of being appreciative of what they ‘do’ have. After a while, it gets irritating listening to the same person complain over and over about their life when they won’t even make an effort to improve their situation.

      1. I guess that’s why we are advised to surround ourselves with like-minded individuals who will inspire you to push for your goal and not pave a way for you to make excuses.

        Everyone wants to be “extraordinary” but most don’t try to push hard enough to add “extra” to their “ordinary”.

      2. I agree with Jainey’s comment, but just to put in my two cents, I also believe that the rabbit hole goes wayyy much deeper than that! Like alot of things on this plain, life has cycles, and from my experience I can be honest and say I to once complained (maybe still do, lol guess i’m human). Why? Because like most who do complain way more than they should its not that they don’t want to make the most of what they have, and constantly compare their lives to others around them as well as, asking why can’t I have that to….. I sincerely believe based on my experience and much self introspection, part of the problem’s root is NOT KNOWING HOW TO bring about the desired change of one’s mindset……..so now what?

        Based on the preceding (in my opinion), if someone is complaining about what they don’t have, and all the other hosts of issues we as humans complain about, my advice to them won’t just be to “get up and get” and “make the most of what you have”, which is what I was told too! But rather to suggest (we can’t force anyone to change) to them instead of making yourself bitter with envy based on the happiness of others around them why not study those persons, yes! Study persons who’s habits or way of life can bring about the change you might want to see become a reality in your life.

        Instead of spending 80% of time doing things that won’t aid the needed change, and the other 20% doing God alone knows what, one should become AWARE of what one is doing all the time, what you read (most people who over complain don’t even look at pictures in the papers, far less read a book to help) have conversations with some of those said persons who you might want to be like and LISTEN to their stories rather than just saying “O, they just lucky, born with a gold spoon in their mouth, rich God parents etc etc”. The rabbit hole goes wayy deeper than my two cents but we have to act and act in a strategic manner, plan, set goals as well as trying to have a growth mind set rather than a fixed one, not forgetting to call on the almighty GOD to aid us in achieving this desired bliss on earth:)

        Sorry if I rambled for too long Candice, lol, but this topic is the answer to life if we can crack the code, and I believe we all can, but only if we pay our dues and do our part, for happiness can never be pursued rather it is ensued.

        May we all realize our heavenly kingdom on earth an beyond!

        1. Wow thanks for such a valuable contribution Peter. You’re right, it does go quite deep with a lot of layers to peel off.

          I must say, I completely agree with this statement: “Study persons who’s habits or way of life can bring about the change you might want to see become a reality in your life.”
          It’s one of the main reasons why I read so much. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts 🙂

  2. I love this. I’ve been thinking of doing a similar post and you’ve captured the points very well.

    This is an issue that I sometimes battle with When I look at the Facebook status of my friends, I feel tempted to compare. It’s so serious that my heart pounds loudly when I feel my colleagues are really ‘making’ it. I have, therefore, vowed not to look at the statuses and profiles of people unless I really need to and it’s working for me.

    Once again, thanks for this lovely post.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words.

      I think most of us are guilty of doing it from time to time. It’s best to be aware of it and stop when you find yourself getting sucked into it. Just like you do, not looking at anything that might trigger a comparison is great.

      Thanks so much for sharing your story. Looking forward to reading your piece 🙂

  3. So true! I wonder whether it’s become more of a problem because of social media. So much of ‘perfect lives’ on display. Your post reminds me of one I wrote on being real on social media.

    1. This kind of comparing always existed, but in my opinion, it’s becoming way prevalent with social media. You’re almost bombarded every day with other people’s lives; and that’s just the half of it. I definitely believe social media is a huge driving factor.

  4. This is so often much easier said than done. It feels like comparison is almost human nature, although I am not sure how true or untrue that statement is. I have to actually remind myself constantly that life is not a competition.

    1. Yep. I also think it’s human nature, but I believe it’s the degree to which we do it that matters. If it’s affecting our life, then it needs to be checked.
      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts Brit 🙂

  5. I absolutely love every word of this!! This is without a doubt the best thing I have read in a long time. People get too caught up in focusing on what others are doing when they should be focusing on themselves. Everybody is different. Every life is unique. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the person that we were yesterday. If the person you are today is better than the person you were yesterday, then you are on the right track. Nothing else really matters. Fantastic post, Candace!! 😀

    1. Thanks so much Danny.
      You always have such a valuable contribution.
      “The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the person that we were yesterday.”–I absolutely love that and couldn’t agree more. We really need to get in the habit of focusing more on making our own lives better everyday. 🙂

  6. I really enjoy your blog, it is like a breath of fresh air. I am going to do a video soon about comparison. It is definitely a killer to one’s personal progression in life.

    1. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. You’re absolutely right, it holds you back when you’re wasting your focus on other people’s lives. Please share your video when it’s ready. I look forward to it 🙂

  7. You hit the nail on the head with this one babe. We have been hardwired to constantly compare ourselves and our achievements with each and every one. With the advent of social media it is now easier than ever to feel unfulfilled, diminished self worth and develop unrealistic impressions of what our lives “should be”.
    I love this one baby.

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