I woke up at the crack of dawn last Saturday, rolled out of bed, sat on the floor and began playing with my puppy. While petting her with one hand, she was busy chewing relentlessly on the palm of my other hand. I smiled at her innocent playfulness and thought to myself, “There’s a third of my hand fitted snug inside her little mouth, she really loves meat and has some chiselled-sharp teeth, yet still I know, she will never bite my hand.”—now that’s what I call trust!

Being a dog and all, she never said to me “You can trust me; I’m loyal to you and won’t ever bite you.” Nope! I completely trusted her because her consistent actions proved her loyalty and trustworthiness to me.

The same principle applies when it comes to trusting in our relationships. Do we trust our partners because they tell us we can trust them or do we trust based on their consistent actions? Do we take their word for it—“Babe you can trust me”,-–even though their phone is always over-protected, faced down, and on silent? 

I honestly believe, when someone is loyal and trustworthy there will never be a need for them to explain themselves or tell you to trust them; their actions will speak volumes and never have you questioning their trust. And if in rare instances we do end up questioning their trust, deep down we honestly know we’re just being paranoid. 

Perhaps it’s time to check in with the trust in our relationships—are we trusting our partners based on their actions or are we taking their word for it even when their actions scream otherwise? Are we being paranoid about something that isn’t there or blind to something that’s staring us point-blank in the face?

The answer to these questions is plastered all over the actions of the person and no amount of words should make you believe otherwise. 

What do you think?

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Thank you for reading.

Smile! Life is better when you’re laughing.

Love, Candace

16 Replies to “Trust in Relationships: Are You Being Gullible or Paranoid?”

  1. Actions really do speak louder than words. While comforting words are nice to hear, without actions to back them up, they’re just words. Anybody can make promises to you that sound great, in theory. I will admit that I am guilty of being too trusting a lot of times. I always try to assume that others mean well and are trustworthy, until they prove otherwise. I have been taken advantage of several times in my life, and it has made me more hesitant to trust people, but I still tend to believe that most people’s intentions are good. Hopefully that continues to be true in the future. Great post, as always, Candace!! 🙂

    1. Thanks Danny. Unfortunately I’ve once been on the receiving end of empty promises—it really is not a nice thing. It made me learn to stop waiting for promises to come true and to not make any as well.

      As we get betrayed in life, it makes it harder and harder to trust, but I suppose, aside from trusting based on actions, we have to go with our gut feeling too—mine never let me down.

  2. Like many of your posts, this one too is beautifully introspective.

    I’ve been on both sides of the wall. Where actions contradicted words, and also where words were not needed, because actions were positive.

    We often tend to believe what we want to, not what we see. There are times when we trust someone despite what their actions scream. Sometimes it’s foolish love, sometimes emotional manipulation.

    In a loving relationship, you don’t find reasons to not trust your partner. Even if ever there is ever a misunderstanding about the same (we are all humans and can be wrong with our assumptions sometimes), the two discuss it with patience and back it up with their actions. without a doubt though, trust comes naturally when actions speak louder.

    1. Nicely said Jiji. So true in all accounts.

      I think being able to openly discuss things (in the event of misunderstanding) with patience and understanding takes respect for each other and a certain level of maturity from both persons. Not all relationships are blessed with such, even though I believe it’s crucial to any healthy relationship.

  3. I love this one babe. Trust is one of the foundations that must be built in order to have a good relationship. And you’re so right about not taking anyone’s word for it, it’s something that takes time, lots of time. It’s truly a beautiful thing when you can trust someone and not have to worry about What’s taking place.

  4. When you have earned someone else’s trust, it is a gift that is not to be squandered or taken lightly, same as when you give someone your trust in them. Having been burned several times I am not one who trusts easily but when I do you can be sure that someone has earned it and will be forever an important part of my life.

    1. Exactly! It takes a lot for someone to trust you, especially someone who has been deceived before. I think we’ve all been there, and trusting again doesn’t come easily! Thank so much for sharing 🙂

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