There was no easy way to do it—it was one of the toughest things I had to do—but as I unfollowed one person at a time, I literally felt my heart growing more and more at peace…

I always assumed I was someone who stood up for herself and never tolerated less than she deserved; until I turned 28 and realised how extremely passive I had been for most of my adult life. Little did I know that the reason for my unhappiness, low self-esteem and little self-worth, was because of what I tolerated and accepted as “okay” from the people in my life at the time.

For years I justified people’s actions toward me—their criticism, body shaming, dream killing, gossiping, back stabbing, empty promises and disappointments—all to the expense of my peace and happiness. It brought me to a point where, whether I liked it or not, I had to weed out the energy sucking people from my life. Sadly, these people were close friends and relatives.

What did I do? Without any notice or explanation, I unfollowed every one of those persons in real life. How? I changed my number and deleted them from every single contact and friend list possible. Sounds harsh don’t it? But guess what? No one came looking for me after, so I guess I did the right thing. 

If you knew how much of a pushover I was two years ago, you’d know that doing something so cold and drastic took a lot of courage and willpower out of me. It was kind of like getting waxed for the first time—it hurt like hell, but afterwards it felt A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

To this day I have no regrets. My life has blossomed and I have complete inner peace. I have honest, supportive people around me who encourage me to be my best.

I cannot stress enough how instrumental the people in our lives are to the way we feel about ourselves and the way our lives turn out. I urge you to choose wisely those whom you allow into your life. If you have negative, cynical people surrounding you, you’re only going to end up feeling discouraged, depleted and down all the time. Sometimes these negative people are close family members who we can’t cut off; learn to love and respect them from a distance and understand that you cannot be around them on a daily basis.

Surround yourself with people who are uplifting, encouraging, supportive and honest; people with big goals and dreams; people who have plans to do something significant with their life—they are the ones who will inspire and motivate you to live the life you deserve.

What are your thoughts? Comment below and share.


Smile! Life is better when you’re laughing!

46 Replies to “Why I Unfollowed People in Real Life”

  1. Excellent article. It’s very difficult to cut off a close relationship. It could be a blood relationship or an intimate relationship. Either case, we experience extreme emotional turbulence. But, if we just imagine a part in body, that is affected by malignant cancer. There no choice but amputate that part in order to save our life. Similarly such toxic relationships has to be severed off to save ourselves and continue with our evolutionary process.

    1. It definitely takes a lot, especially if you put the other person’s feelings before your own; but then consider your analogy, how brilliant and true it is.
      I love that Shankar, thank you for sharing it 🙂

  2. good points. I think you are right that you do not have regrets. Personally,I have been tried to find a perfect solitude mood even though ı have a lot of amazing friends for a few years. each person draws their own ways with their goals. true or false. but ıf we breathe correctly ( ı meant peacefully ) ıt would be better and amazing thing whatever we want or wish eventually

  3. Good for you, Candace! Thanks for sharing your message and encouraging others to think about whether there are people in our lives whom we should invite out. We wouldn’t deliberately eat poisonous foods, so why do we sometimes allow toxic people to poison or otherwise diminish us. I’ve come to believe that if each of us is to fulfill the purpose we determine for ourselves, we need to assure that we surround ourselves with supportive people who want to see us succeed and even help us succeed (and we must be willing to do the same for them). Self-care and establishing boundaries are key to living fully and wholeheartedly. Great message, thank you.

    1. You’re welcome Donna.
      You’re so right–why would we keep something in our lives that’s toxic?
      I absolutely agree that we should offer the same to those whom we choose to surround ourselves with.
      Thanks for sharing such a valuable insight.

  4. I saw the title of this blog on Twitter and thought, I have to read this!

    Well I believe you made a brave move actually. I believe that these issues need to be taken seriously and like you I have cut some people out of my life and even moved to a different town so I may live a more peaceful lifestyle.

    From the sounds of your story, you were putting up with a lot and when you cut these people out, they didn’t contact you so it just goes to show how much they cared.

    I hope you are doing better now, for me it’s still something that affects me but I do the same thing, remove myself from the situation.

    Take care

    Mo

    1. Mo, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
      Your perception of my story is quite accurate. I have been so incredibly well since; like yours, my life is much more peaceful.
      Thanks for sharing 🙂

  5. I am truly inspired by what you wrote. I am currently in the process of weeding the negative people out of my life. This truly provided inspiration and I thank you so much for this great revelation on how to live a more happy life. It teaches us how much an impact negative people can have on our own happiness. I will continue to use this inspirational post in my own life and share it on my facebook for others to implement as well.

    1. Oh wow, this is one of the reasons why I do what I do Ena. If my post inspires one person to live a happier life, then it has achieved its purpose.
      I wish you well. Thank you for sharing your story and for subscribing to my blog 🙂

  6. Wow babe, your lil vacation is doing wonders for your writing. I totally agree with this as you know I have done this myself. I am happy that it had such an impact on you as well. When people claim to be our friends they somehow think it’s some sort of free pass to tell us whatever they want even if it’s demotivating. I think that if someone wants to be in your life they will make every effort to help you along your journey and not drag you down or not be clouded by hate or jealousy.
    Anyways, great post my love!

    1. Lol.. thanks babe, Time off from the hustle is always good.
      Yep, you’re absolutely right. People fail to realise that making the same “joke” over and over about someone eventually gets to them. We need to be mindful about what we say to people.

  7. I know we have discussed this is in the past, but I can relate to this 100%. I have made many of the same changes in my life as you have. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the influences I have my life now compared to just a couple of years ago, and I recently started writing a post similar to this one. Carefully choosing your friends and making the difficult decision to remove certain people from your life is absolutely necessary. It’s even harder when the person (or people) you need to remove from your life are relatives, but it happens sometimes. Life is too short to be anything but happy. We all need to do what is best for ourselves, and surround ourselves with people who make us want to become a better version of ourselves. There’s no point in wasting time and energy on people who drag us down.

    1. Yep, I recall you mentioning before about making drastic changes in your life for the sake of your happiness.
      I agree that’s life is too short and that making our happiness a priority is an absolute necessity, even if it means distancing ourselves from the negative people in our life.
      Thanks for sharing Danny 🙂

  8. Thanks for coming by my blog. It brought me here — and wow! Your post is really great and you are so brave to do this! I love the part where you say – that no one came searching for you after you changed your numbers. Thank you for this inspiration and food for thought! 🙂

      1. Thanks for writing that because it gave me a great insight into my life too — why hold on to that which does not serves neither us nor the world at large. Life is short and its better to move forward with smile 🙂 Thank You again.

  9. You are wise beyond your years. Some people find this truth only because the others have left, in one way or another.The simple fact that no one came looking speaks volumes…they were never really “into you”. I did this many, many years ago and never looked back. I felt emancipated when all was said and done. I recently reconnected with two long-lost family members and have regretted it ever since. Sometimes time doesn’t change anything. Time to lose them again – I quit answering their calls – given time, they will fade back into the woodwork.

    Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thank you for your kind words Margaret.
      Also, thanks so much for sharing your story because I have been wondering lately if I should reconnect with a few family members that I distanced myself from. After reading your comment, I decided that I’m not going to because you are right, sometimes time doesn’t change anything and I really can’t put myself in the same situation again.
      It’s good that you’re able to identify the recurring issue with them, and know what needs to be done to get back your peace.

  10. I’ve done the same recently, but just on Instagram. I realized that I was getting a lot of feelings of anxiety or bitterness as I scrolled. I realized that it was time for a change because there is no need to be feeling that way. I didn’t want to get rid of Instagram because I follow a lot of really amazing people and accounts. So instead I decided that if a post makes me feel uncomfortable in any way, then I will unfollow that person. It’s amazing how much better I feel looking through my feed now with that simple action. Your article makes me think I should cleanse other parts of my life too. Thanks for the great post!

    1. I can definitely relate to you. I completely purged my social media accounts as well. It’s funny how we can change our news feed from dreary and negative to light and positive. It makes the world of difference. I definitely recommend doing the same in real life. If your virtual news feed can change the way you feel, just imagine in real life.
      Thanks so much for sharing your story 🙂

  11. Thanks for your candor. At times, we get so wrapped up in how many ‘followers’ we have – so I know it was extremely brave of you to delete some people from your life. To me, it shows you did the right thing when those followers don’t even notice. Glad you’re enjoy the peace and happiness you deserve.

    1. My pleasure.
      For me, it was a necessary move, but I must admit I felt more at ease when no one checked in to see why they haven’t been hearing from me.
      Thanks so much for your well wishes 🙂

  12. That’s the right way to eliminate the negativity around you. I also did that and you’re right it made a lot of big difference. Great post!

  13. What a perfect timing. I just recently had to unfollow a friend from Instagram because her constant political soapboxing really upset me. Not that it’s on her — I 100% support her right to express whatever she wants — but I got anxiety from such things and removing myself from such dissent brings me back peace in my life.

  14. Candice definitely 100% true I am so happy you posted this blog very informative I look forward to reading your blogs every time thank you for being a person that makes the world a more pleasant place to be in 🙂

  15. I guess at some point in one’s life there is the need to unfollow people. I am a firm believer in removing people who do not contribute positively to your mental and physical well being. It can be a tough decision but it is usually for the best reasons. And kudos to you for standing for yourself.

    1. Yep, youre right..it is a tough decision but it’s definitely something we need to do at one point or the other. Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts 🙂

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