Is there someone who just does not like you? It could be due to a lack of chemistry, just plain old jealousy, or perhaps because of unresolved past issues. But what if it’s neither of those and you’re left scratching your head about why someone does not like you.

Researchers of the American Psychological Association conducted a series of studies on a phenomenon they call “spontaneous trait transference”, which basically means, whatever you say about other people shapes the way people see you. In other words, when you point out negative traits about someone else, the person who is listening will often characterise those same traits to you.

For example, politicians who allege corruption by their opponents may themselves be perceived as dishonest, critics who praise artists may themselves be perceived as talented, and gossips who describe others’ infidelities may themselves be viewed as immoral.*

The gist of the research is that when you gossip, you become associated with the things you say and the characteristics you describe, ultimately leading those characteristics to be ‘transferred’ to you.

So, be very careful of what you say about people and to whom you say it to. You might be oblivious of the impression you are creating of yourself. And remember, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Comment below and share your thoughts.

 

 


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*Source: American Psychological Association

14 Replies to “Why Some People May Not Like You”

  1. Oh! So THAT’S why everyone is so nice to me — I don’t gossip! Ok, sorry, I don’t wanna come off as a bragger. But thing is, I never developed the knack for gossiping nor did I ever see the reason to. It’s just plain hurtful! I only do the “good” gossiping – I’m afraid of complimenting people in front of their faces so I tell the compliment to their friend. Lol.

  2. I think we can use this our advantage, instead of identifying the negatives in others we can choose to see the good in others, instead of “bad mouthing” we can “good mouth” them, so by extension we will bring out the good in ourselves. Very thought provoking post. I love it babe.

    1. I love your motto “Nice or Neutral’. I like to think that I’m neutral most times. I try to speak less especially when it comes to saying negative things about people. Most times I just laugh it off or just smile. Lol. I always wonder how people perceive that :/

  3. I have done this in the past. It’s not a good thing to do. I have noticed that I attracted more when I cut this down or out.
    Wouldn’t you say that sometimes this tendency is natural?

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